AMA Fertility
I was able to become pregnant naturally at 39 and 42 years of age.
I am the oldest mom that I know that was able to conceive babies without any fertility treatments.
I am sharing my experience to give you hope that you too can have a child even with advanced maternal age (AMA).
Please note that nothing in this is intended to be professional medical advice. This is very detailed and long. I have included my difficult experiences not to get sympathy, but to pass along my realistic journey to motherhood. There were some challenges but I am trying to keep this as positive as possible.
This is divided into two pages– what worked for me and my experience.
What Worked for Me
There are a lot of books, websites, scary stories from friends. In the end, there were several things that I focused on and it worked for me: making the best egg/spermies possible, timing, and providing the best oven.
I. Making the best egg and spermies
I got my eggs checked. It is important to have the best egg and sperm quality as possible.
• My doctor friends freaked me out about ‘freezing my eggs,” “running out of time,” etc. So I went in to have my “eggs checked” by our local fertility doctor. It costs about $300 and they do an ultrasound to see what the ovaries look like. In the ultrasound, you want to see chocolate chips; each of the chocolate chips is an egg.
• They can also draw your blood to check on ovarian reserve, which checks levels of hormones needed for pregnancy. I believe the AMH needs to be above 0.7-1.0 for fertility doctor to recommend fertility treatments.
• If you have a low egg count and your ovarian reserve isn’t so hot – please don’t freak out. I have a friend who literally had one egg and was able to have a healthy baby girl via IVF.
• I also personally think that you can improve your egg quality and count with some lifestyle choices outlined below.
• When I went in to the doc my egg count was great and so was my bloodwork.
• I highly recommend this step bc you might be using time, energy, emotions trying to conceive -> when you should be working on improving egg count/quality.
• When egg quality and count are lower - it can lead to no pregnancies or several miscarriages.
Lifestyle for egg/sperm quality
At least 3 months prior to trying to have a baby – the following 12 steps worked for us (bc it takes your body 3 months to develop an egg) (guys should do 1-7 and 12 for their spermies):
1. ORGANIC – I eat everything as organic as possible (no boxed, frozen lunches; no frozen, no cans, etc.). Fresh food that is organic. Eat as healthy as possible. Spend at least 20 minutes buying organic produce each week at the grocery store.
I don’t eat microwaved popcorn (there are bad chemicals in the bag).
2. NEED CALORIES – I didn’t diet. I think an extra few pounds helps for the hormones. But not being overweight.
3. WATER - Drink the best water that you can. I’m prefer to drink FIJI Water®. No joke. Respect this stuff. It has silica in the water which is great for hair, skin, nails, and the cells in your body. There are not a lot of great sources for silica in food. In my experience silica supplements taste bad.
If you can’t find FIJI Water® or can’t spend the $200 a month on FIJI Water®. Then reverse osmosis water. We installed a reverse osmosis filter at our house. Water tastes great; clean. Just no silica so I still have a few FIJI’s a week.
I’m not into the very alkaline waters. (FIJI is a tad alkaline.)
Absolutely do NOT drink city water or water from water fountains. City water is processed at a water treatment plant, there are all sorts of chemicals, pharmaceuticals, bad stuff in there after it is processed.
Water fountains spread germs, I don’t drink out of these.
I absolutely do NOT drink out of those cheap flimsy plastic bottles where it is like $4 for a 48 pack of bottled water. This water is probably not good. But what is worse is the plastic. The plastic is a fake type of estrogen that messes up your body and fertility hormones. The FIJI Water® bottle type of plastic is thick and doesn’t degrade like the cheap flimsy kind.
4. NO PLASTIC – I don’t eat out of anything plastic except FIJI water – all glass, ceramic containers for food and drinks. No plastic other than FIJI water. I don’t microwave food in plastic/store/deli/leftover containers and then eat it. I never do this.
5. FISH OIL – I took fish oil supplements. Not cheap fish oil (which can be bad for you bc it is oxidized); Buy expensive fish oil that has been purified (like $40-60 a bottle for a month). I take 4-5 1000 mg a day and have for the past 8 years. Good quality, non-oxidized fish oil will help reduce inflammation in your body/in your ovaries/fertile areas. I take it because I have an allergic condition and it also helps with that.
6. ALCOHOL – I cut back on alcohol to 4-5 drinks of wine/beer per week. Same for the guys!
The guys that I know who drank alcohol every night while trying to have a baby - did NOT conceive a baby without IVF or fertility treatments.
7. FOLATE – So this is a big one. I learned about this after my miscarriage. There are lots of advertisements and articles that state a pregnant person needs folic acid to have a healthy baby without neural tube defects. Well almost half the population can’t metabolize folic acid properly…duh. Why is no one talking about this? It is shocking to me that I didn’t know about it.
After my miscarriage, I paid $300 for a genetic test on myself to see if I have a MTHFR mutation. Turns out I do -> so I don’t metabolize folic acid very well. If you have MTHFR, you are more likely to have miscarriage, clotting problems, stroke, heart disease, cancer, other things like this.
The solution: methyl folate. It is the methylated form of folate. It is super simple. It is crazy to me that methyl folate is not the vitamin being supplemented in foods.
I took 3 1000 mg lozenges of methyl folate a day when we were trying to conceive and during the first trimester. After that I tapered down to 1-2 1000 mg of methyl folate. (not pregnant I take about 1000 mg of methyl folate – it is needed if you have MTHFR; I can feel a difference and feel better taking methyl folate).
So what you can do:
-Option 1: pay $300 for a test that tells you that you have MTHFR and take methyl folate;
-Option 2: pay $200 for 23 and me and get your entire genetic code* (will also tell you if you possibly have other markers for birth defects and MTHFR) and take methyl folate if it shows that you have MTHFR genes; OR
-Option 3: just take methyl folate and assume you might have MTHFR. Methyl folate isn’t bad for you. Only good as far as I’ve read.
If you start feeling weird on methyl folate (depressed, anxious), you probably have MTHFR. This is some people’s reaction. It is part of a detox process that your body hasn’t been able to do efficiently so you will feel yucky. You can read more about this if you look it up. I didn’t have this reaction – I feel great on methyl folate.
Methyl folate is great for the guy too.
8. PRENATAL VITAMIN – My favorite prenatal is a raw, organic prenatal made from whole foods. I do NOT like the prescription vitamins (synthetic vitamins). The prenatal that I recommend actually taste like food. I liked:
• Garden of Life mykind Organic prenatal
9. CoQ-10 – The DNA in the egg needs to divide before it is released from the ovaries (meiosis). This requires a lot of energy for the mitochondria in the egg. Mitochondria use CoQ 10 for energy. I supplemented with CoQ10 for the first half of my cycle to help out the mitochondria. I love this stuff. It gives me energy.
The last DNA division is critical to a healthy egg and a healthy baby – you don’t want any defects at the last DNA division of the oocyte/egg.
I supplemented with 200 mg/day the first half of my cycle of the good CoQ-10 (there are two forms, get the more expensive form). I did not take CoQ-10 after the ovulation days.
I read about other levels 100 mg, 400 mg/day. If I take too much, I have too much energy/jittery so 200 mg/day worked for me.
10. Other supplements – vitamin e; others. I read about other supplements like vitamin e, others. I didn’t take any other vitamins than the points above. Vit E in extra doses may lead to heart defects in baby.
11. GLUTEN FREE – If you want to try everything, you could even try eating gluten free. I’m mostly gluten free bc of my allergic condition. Some people believe that gluten makes things “sticky” in your body (to simplify it drastically).
12. LIMIT DRUGS - Limit prescription drugs and over-the-counter drugs as much as possible. There are not enough studies on how prescription drugs may interfere with egg/sperm development. I avoided ibuprofen, which not permitted in pregnancy. Acetaminophen is linked to asthma and other issues so I avoided taking this as well. Even some nose sprays interfere with eggs/sperm.
Other points: Avoid chemicals (cleaning, painting, etc.), try to sleep in a bedroom with no external light, I tried some electro acupuncture for my allergic condition but it may have helped my fertility.
II. Timing
• I used the Clearblue Fertility Monitor – It let you know days that I was fertile and give us an early heads up.
• I made sure IT happens each day: three days before and 5 days or more after the peak fertile time:
I made sure to give IT a go with my husband at least 3 days before the most fertile time. The problem here is that there is no perfect way to predict timing of exactly when your body ovulates.
KEY SCIENCE POINT: The spermies need to be far up in the fallopian tubes when the egg is released!! This is critical. The fertilized egg divides in the fallopian tube as it falls into the uterus and is ready to be implanted (implantation higher up in the uterus is shown to be better than lower implantation).
If the egg and sperm meet down the fallopian tubes or later on – there is a much bigger chance for miscarriage (the fertilized egg may NOT implant or may implant low/not optimally).
• I tried a basal thermometer. I only used the basal thermometer the one month I became pregnant with my second son. It was cool. I wished I tried that earlier. I had an implantation dip. It was cool to see. The implantation happens 7-10 days after the fertile time. It takes that long for the fertilized egg to implant.
III. Best Oven
It is key to have a good blood flow to the uterus to support the growing placenta and baby. If you follow steps 1-12 above, you should be great.
If there are still problems with miscarriage or not implanting and ovaries are loaded with eggs, then I would look into a clotting issue. Many friends of mine had reoccurring miscarriages; once they were put on anti-clotting medicine, everything was okay. Some were tested for clotting and didn’t test positive, but the anti-clotting medicine still worked for them to have a full term pregnancy. (fish oil, water, and gluten free lifestyle help to keep the blood thin).
Other big thing here is to be an amazing brave mom awaiting her baby. Please start to accept that things are out of your control. You can do your best but it may take time. I would work on trying not to freak out every month around the time when Aunt flo is supposed to show. I would think at least I get one more month of sleep. And we get to try again next month. Woohoo!
If you believe in God, as I do, these are my beliefs: God’s plan may not match yours. I prayed to God regularly about our hopes and asked for blessings. I haven’t ready much of the bible but the story of Saint Elizabeth gave me hope and helped me to understand that God is aware of our concerns and is trying to help us. I love the story of Saint Elizabeth and Zacharias (the parents of John the Baptist). I absolutely believe that God through Saint Elizabeth can help parents have their babies.
Overall
This is all hard work. It is an emotional journey. It is a journey that requires bravery.
Following all of the hard work above, resulting in us having a healthy baby. It was a worthy sacrifice - there is nothing better than seeing that baby and finding out that he/she is healthy!!
*Genetic code info: If you order this, it will tell you a lot about your genetic predisposition. This can tell you some scary stuff. I was shocked to see that I have two of the three genes for Alzheimer’s. No one in my family has had Alzheimer’s. It also said I would likely have high blood pressure during pregnancy – I didn’t; in fact, mine was low and normal the entire time. I feel empowered to know my genetic predispositions so that I can do things now to attempt to prevent the genes from being activated/triggered. Just like how my lifestyle choices didn’t trigger the high blood pressure during my pregnancy. But I realize that other folks may not want to know this information.